9 Lessons You Pick Up when your Hair Drops

Alopecia is a chronic autoimmune disease that causes hair loss primarily on the scalp but also on other parts of the body. It occurs when the immune system mistakenly attacks the body’s hair follicles. The disease does not have any definite cause or cure, which aside from the sheer stress of losing one’s hair, makes it one of the most emotionally frustrating illnesses. The following is my personal attempt to grasp some positive lessons from my suffering and to make sense of what people with chronic illnesses experiences.

  1. Giving some top class pep talks

You wake up, open your eyes, shut your eyes, take a couple of deep breaths and give yourself a mini pep talk. You go to brush your teeth, look at yourself in the mirror and wince. Time for mini pep talk number two. Losing your hair (and consequently your confidence) so often forces you to learn to improvise uplifting and motivational pep talks to deliver to yourself or to your friends at any time in any situation, on a moment’s notice.

  1. You become sensitive to others

That time they were all discussing their bad hair days and you were silently willing for your hair to magically grow back, or else for the ground to swallow you up? And when they were all discussing whether to highlight, perm or dye their hair and you were terrified to even carelessly touch your hair incase you saw the strands slither down and away? That jolt of pain that rushes through you each time you hear the word “hair” has taught you how to be cautious when nonchalantly talking about the simplest of things.

  1. You turn yourself into a dedicated high achiever

Day in and day out you feel like you’re lacking in so many ways, purely because of the emotional stress of your condition. So, you feel the need to make up for the lack of hair on your head through your academics, extra-curriculars and work. After all, it is you and not your hair that dances, runs, sings and plays. And you could use that constant reminder

  1. You’re a lot more selective with your people

You used to love your big circle of friends but you started to have enough awkward and uncomfortable experiences about a bald spot or thinning hair to know you couldn’t stick with them.  So you’ve put your guard up and you’re way more selective with your close circle of friends. All you really need is someone who knows they may not understand what you’re going through, but can still unconditionally offer you their support.

  1. You‘re a super productive worker 

When you’re feeling on top of things, you know you have to make use of it. These periods rarely last for long, so you’ve trained yourself to work efficiently and get things done quickly because you’re no longer naive enough to believe that you’re going to be able to hold out for much longer.

  1. You can’t do everything you might set out to

Everyone tells you that at least hair loss doesn’t stop you from doing any activities. But the reality is that you rarely ever feel emotionally strong enough. So you quit your basketball team because drops of sweat glisten on your bare scalp like shards. And you stop attending those club meetings because you don’t have the confidence to face those same whispers every week. But you hustle and find that dance teacher who makes you believe that you can get up on that stage and dance despite your hair.

  1. You get tired really easily

Half of your mornings begin with tears and you’re already tired. Sadness is emotionally draining. Pain from treatments is exhausting. You’re known as that friend who’s always napping and always cancelling plans, because honestly, it’s just really tiring even getting through each day. The simple toll of day-to-day living doesn’t leave much energy in you to explain to people that you just don’t know how you’re going to wake up feeling.

  1. It is OK not to be okay

This is something that took you a long time to accept but you realized that sometimes the overachiever in you needs to quiet down and the tired part of you is screaming for you to just take a few days off to do nothing but self care. And these are the days when you realize why you’ve worked so hard to find the angels in your friends, teachers and mentors.

  1. You learn to fight

At the end of the day you have to move on. This isn’t something that you will ever really get used to. So you train yourself to fight the ghosts that you see in the hair that falls to the floor and to walk past the banshees that laugh at you from other people’s locks. You have alopecia, but you won’t let alopecia have you.



  1. Eno says:

    You are incredibly brave and strong.

    Keep writing!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ashish says:

    Superbly written and incredibly powerful. You have a real talent here that you should keep pursuing. Looking forward to reading more of your work. And stay positive!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Gouri says:

    Sunena , beautiful and an honest piece . You are a fighter and God has endowed you with the beautiful creative talent of dance . This and your strong , supportive family are your biggest strength .

    Liked by 1 person

  4. kapooralka says:

    My dearest Sunena! You are truly an Inspiration & a Hero! God bless you and may grow from strength to strength!💕💕💕

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Sangeeta Sethi says:

    Thank you for sharing this Sunena. You are an incredibly strong girl. You have helped me to face my own vague and real fears. The people who love you will always love and find you beautiful ….hair or no hair… The others don’t matter!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Gauri says:

    Beautifully written Sunena. Feel so proud of you. Lots of love

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Sheila V says:

    Beautifully penned. Inspiring, emotional, show of strength…..& much more. Well done. Proud of you.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Sunil Gupta says:

    Beautifully written. Straight from the heart. Seeing this post, I am full of admiration for courage it takes to share her emotions that she has battled with for almost 18 years. Cherishing what she has, living life, pursuing her passions and accepting the rest.

    Sunena, our girl, the battle with Alopecia may be arduous, but now you are not going to face it alone. Spread your wings. Fly and soar. Discover what this life has on offer. All our blessings are with you.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Poornima Kulkarni says:

    Love the attitude beta, of dealing with life itself . Battles can be fought u have won the war…and speaking about it won the 💓 of all those who HV read this.bless u.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Veena Cherian says:

    Superbly expressed. Kudos to you Sunena. No one understands the struggle of an autoimmune issue more than me.Hope to read more articles from you.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Beautifully written by a beautiful Girl !! What matters is what’s within and you have got it all right … love and hugs

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Sukanya Pushkarna says:

    Wonderfully insightful and inspiring. My family has a history of auto immune diseases and we all are dealing with different levels of debilitation. Attitude truly is the crux. I have learnt some of your lessons through experiencing life and I’m amazed at the wisdom you have shown at such a young age. A non sequitur- I am a fan of your dancing. You are incredibly talented. God bless!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. K V Godha says:

    Your feelings are penned so beautifully sunena. It’s amazing to see what a strong kid you are !! You are an achiever and I am sure you will continue to be a star among all your friends who may not really know what you are going through. Such is your strength. You have god’s Blessings !! Keep going!! Keep dancing 💃🏾 to glory !! Love you child ❤️🌹⭐️Your feelings are penned so beautifully sunena. It’s amazing to see what a strong kid you are !! You are an achiever and I am sure you will continue to be a star among all your friends who may not really know what you are going through. Such is your strength. You have god’s Blessings !! Keep going!! Keep dancing 💃🏾 to glory !! Love you child ❤️🌹⭐️

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Sarah says:

    Sunena, you are the winner. You have what it takes to achieve great heights- you go girl and forget the superficialities( like hair).
    You are one amazing kid!❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Pallak says:

    Bless you dear girl.. you are stronger than you know and so totally blessed with sensitivity which most of your generation lack. Your parents must be so proud to have you as their beautifully motivated talented girl… after all tru beauty is within … congrats on your achievements
    Mehak’s mum


  16. Aruna says:

    Hi Sunena. You are not alone. I have alopecia too. Being an Indian girl with this problem makes it even worse l guess. All the best to you.


  17. Hairstyles says:

    This design is wicked! You certainly know how to keep a reader entertained. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Great job. I really enjoyed what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it. Too cool!


  18. Neoma Behrns says:

    It goes without saying the content here is so accurate for so many reasons. It avoids the accustomed pitfalls and pitfalls so many fall into- buying bad alternatives. Thank you!


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